QotD: Happy Birthday To Me
How do you feel about your birthday? Do you look forward to it and remind all your friends, or do you dread it and try to keep it a secret?
I hate it! A birthday isn't a celebration of having survived another 12 months. It's a warning that your time is running out. Birthdays are your body's odometer ticking over. Your life's time clock counting down to zero and there's no penalty time once the final whistle blows, baby.
When I turned 40, I became so depressed. Forty! Twice Twenty and one quarter of the fun. I turned fifty last year and no more depression. In fact, I've come to terms with age. It's inevitable, so I figured I'd accept it, along with the fact that I can't bend to pick up the bathmat without feeling that twinge in the left knee. When I take a piss, and think it's all finished, shake & all......there's still that last sneaky dribble AFTER the tackle is reeled in again. That's age, apparently. My doctor said so. If you eat too late at night & go to bed on a full stomach, then wake up three hours later drowning in your own gastric juices which are making a break for freedom.......that's age. Even sex is an effort, and performance is something I really have to work at, where once it just seemed so matter-of-fact. Hey, twice a month ain't so bad. Kinda makes you look forward to the occasions when they happen.
No, you can take birthdays and shove 'em up yer clacker. I have more than enough reminders of encroaching old age on a daily basis without having to commemorate another one on the anniversary of my entry into this terminal game.
